


Love in Liminal Space

by LemonNinjaa



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Confessions, Heart-to-Heart, M/M, Sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-16 13:51:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9274814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonNinjaa/pseuds/LemonNinjaa
Summary: After a busy day of planning for TATINOF in 2014, Phil finally expresses his feelings by using his words: the way Dan understands best.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely inspired by the idea of "love language" and the whole thing with learning how to communicate with your partner in their love language and such.

Phil was suddenly aware that he was too warm. Peering around in the darkness, he pulled the blanket down a little and edged away from Dan, but didn’t want to move too much in case he woke him up. Dan’s eyelashes looked longer in the dark; maybe it was from the shadows or maybe because Phil wasn’t wearing his glasses, but he looked so soft, almost like Phil was dreaming. He reached out to softly touch Dan’s cheek where the moonlight kissed his skin. It was probably sometime after 3am and everything felt in-between: the time, his state between asleep and awake, their relationship…

But actually, maybe their relationship wasn’t as much in-between as it was unspoken. Phil’s eyes followed the curve of Dan’s cheek down to his slightly-parted lips, remembering how it felt to have them against his own. They’d been through a whirlwind of ups and downs; the way they met all those years ago was like a storybook romance, it was a flurry of passion that ended up burning out, but then it – they – re-ignited somewhere along the way. Now, they were working on something that would probably define them as a unit for the rest of time, and nothing could feel more right.

Phil couldn’t help himself from seeking out Dan’s hand underneath the covers. His fingers were warm and pliant, curling softly around Phil’s own. He stroked the back of Dan’s hand with his thumb, trying to imagine what it was like not having this; he didn’t want to ever be without it again. Dan shifted a little, his eyebrows furrowing, before opening his eyes.

“Hey, why are you awake?” Dan sleepily mumbled, blinking slowly at him. “It’s still sleep time.”

Phil smiled at how cute and soft he was, in this strange moment of in-betweens. The movement of Dan’s lashes, slow with his blinking, reminded him of butterfly wings. Dan looked unreal, but also more solid and present than ever before. 

“You’re the only one I could ever see myself with.” Phil imagined the words curling into the air, dissipating like smoke. That’s how they felt to him, forming on his tongue out of nothing. 

Dan blinked quickly, as if to shake the embrace of sleep off of his lashes. He said nothing, his lips parted wider like he was going to speak but the words wouldn’t come. 

“I realized sometime ago that a life in which you and I are just friends is a life I don’t want… I was still happy without an ‘us’, but it never felt right. I want to see your smile in the morning every day for the rest of our lives, I want to always be able to wake up in the middle of the night to see you like this, right here, with me.”

Dan was wide awake now, staring at Phil. His eyes were starting to look shiny. 

“I always wanted us to fall back together,” Dan whispered, his voice shaking as a fond smile adorned his lips. “What we have between us is something far beyond anyone else’s understanding. From the moment I met you, I wanted to be greedy, I wanted more. I could never get enough of you, and I will always want you.”

Phil could tell by the crinkle of Dan’s nose and the trembling of his voice that he was about to cry. He reached out to cradle Dan’s jaw with the hand that wasn’t holding Dan’s. They were still lying on their sides, but it felt like the world had paused around them, like they had stepped into another dimension where only they existed. 

“You are so beautiful,” Phil said, hushed, reverently. “Especially when you’re passionate about something; your eyes get this spark in them, and you smile so wide. You shine so brightly and I can’t look away. Our subscribers might call me the sun, but you are so radiant. I love it; I love you.” He leaned in to kiss Dan; with his eyes closed, it was like they were floating. 

“They call you the sun because I would have never gotten here without you,” Dan said, resting his other hand on Phil’s arm. “There is no me without you. I love you.”

Phil smiled. 

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and I feel like now that we’ve grown up and really understand each other, we’re able to love each other the way the other needs. I just wanted us to talk about it, to talk about what we are. I always want us to talk through things because I don’t ever want to lose you like that again. I know it’s hard for me to use my words, but I love you, I’d do anything if you were right there with me. I can’t even believe that we’re planning to do a whole stage show. I’d never have done this without you; I don’t think I could. But I’m a better version of myself when I’m with you.” 

“Wherever you go, I will follow,” Dan said as tears started running down his face. “I am the east, and you are the sun… Your eye in heaven / Would through the airy region stream so bright / That birds would sing and think it were not night… You light up my life in a way that no one and nothing else could ever match.” 

Phil couldn’t stop himself from tearing up now. “My cup runneth over with love for you,” he said, voice thick even as he laughed a little, knowing that that wasn’t the right way to use the phrase. Phil kissed him again, brushing Dan’s tears away with a thumb, and then pulled him close, tucking Dan’s head underneath his chin. His body fit so perfectly with Phil’s it was almost like they were made for each other; when he thought of the way their fingers fit together and the way they existed so seamlessly, he realized that perhaps that idea wasn’t too far-fetched after all.

“I love you,” Dan mumbled into Phil’s chest.

“I love you, too.”

Phil pressed his lips to Dan’s hair, his heart overfull with love and the feeling of being home. They both drifted off to sleep as Phil thought hazily about feathered wings and sunshine and a softness that he didn’t have the right words for, and a fireplace eating all of the darkness from the corners of a room.


End file.
